The Five Obstructions Blogathon #1: Forrest Gump

Nostra of MyFilmViews has created a blog-a-thon based on the Lars von Trier-Jorgen Leth film The Five Obstructions. This blog-a-thon challenges various bloggers to write something under a specific guideline where if that blogger succeeds. That person can go to the next round but if that blogger fails, a punishment will happen. In Nostra’s blog-a-thon of the Five Obstructions

She has set a specific guideline one obstruction every month as here is the first obstruction:

For this first assignment, I will be reviewing a film that I know and love as I will be writing this review under a different persona who is far less intelligent and far less cultured than I am. Here is my review of Robert Zemeckis’ 1994 classic Forrest Gump:

Based on the best-selling novel by Winston Groom, Forrest Gump is the ludicrous story about an idiotic man with an IQ of 75 who stumbles into every situation by meeting the American president three times, being an All-American for Alabama, becoming a war hero, a multi-millionaire, and all sorts of things while pining for a slut named Jenny. Under the direction of Robert Zemeckis and screenplay by Eric Roth, the film is an overblown, Oscar-bait film that is extremely manipulative and sappy as its title character is led by Tom Hanks who goes all the way to go for that Oscar by playing a slow, dim-witted moron where he almost goes full-retard. Also starring Robin Wright, Gary Sinise, Mykelti Williamson, and Sally Fields as Forrest’s mama. The film is nothing more than a piece-of-shit inspirational film that does nothing more than tug the heartstrings of the people and make them look just as stupid as Forrest.

Through Robert Zemeckis’ overly-calculating direction that aims to have this sweeping scope filled with lots of gorgeous scenery is overwrought in this story about an idiotic man who watches the world go buy as he would impact them. Yet, many of these situations under Zemeckis’ direction and Eric Roth’s screenplay is ridiculous as it’s all told by the titular protagonist who keeps talking about box of chocolates and his favorite book of all-time is Curious George. The fact that Forrest Gump meets three different U.S. Presidents, become a war hero, a multi-millionaire through the shrimp business and investing money in Apple Computers, being an All-American for Alabama is just ludicrous.

At the same time, Forrest is given dumb and heavy-handed messages from his mama like “stupid is as stupid does” and “life is like a box of chocolates” as he’s seen by most of the people he meets as an idiot. Then there’s the people he encounters in his journey like a black man with big gums named Bubba (Mykelti T. Williamson) who gets killed off nearly half-way into the film and Lt. Dan (Gary Sinise) who loses legs in the war and becomes a paraplegic Vietnam Vet who hates Forrest’s guts for saving him until he realizes the meaning of life. Yet, these characters are nothing compared to Forrest’s love interest Jenny (Robin Wright) who is essentially a liberal slut who goes from one trend to another and takes LSD in the 60s and cocaine in the 70s. She wants to be a folk singer but instead goes from one cause to another only to end up as a single-mother waitress whose child is none other than Forrest’s son as she later croaks due to AIDS.

Adding to the film’s overly-sappy tone is Alan Silvestri’s cheesy yet excruciating score that is filled with some of the most annoying melodies heard in film while its soundtrack is more of… “hey, there’s that song and there’s this song”. The Doors show a bunch of times while there’s a lot of music that is just there to play to a certain period in time yet there’s no music from the Beatles? What the hell?

The bottom line is this. Forrest Gump is an overrated and overblown film that wants to tug at people’s heartstring with Tom Hanks giving a totally blatant Oscar-bait performance as the titular character. It is a travesty in the art of film as it won too many Oscars where it really should’ve gone the best film of that year which is North by Rob Reiner. For anyone who thinks Forrest Gump is one of the best films ever made… Well then… fuck you and die!!!! Take that box of chocolates and shove it up your fucking ass!! "My name is Forrest Gump, people call me Forrest Gump". SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

Editor’s Note: I actually love Forrest Gump for all of its mawkish cheesiness and sweeping visuals yet it’s got so much that I enjoy including its cast, music, and Zemeckis’ direction. Though I think Trois Couleurs: Blanc & Rouge, Chungking Express, Natural Born Killers, and Pulp Fiction were better films that came out that year. I still have love Forrest Gump and I always watch it whenever it’s on.

© thevoid99 2013