Thursday, January 06, 2022

Thursday Movie Picks: 2021 Releases


For the first week of 2022 as part of Wandering Through the Shelves' Thursday Movie Picks. We go into the subject of 2021 releases as it is a new year but there’s still films from the year before that people are catching up on or ones that deserve a lot of praise. Here are my three picks of 2021 releases that I hope to never watch as they’re all musicals:

1. Music
Whatever goodwill SIA had as a pop star went totally down the drain in this absolutely misguided and tone-deaf piece of shit musical that she co-wrote, directed, and wrote music for about a drug dealer who has to take care of her young autistic half-sister after their grandmother had died. It is a film where for anyone that knows anything about autism or know someone with autism would have every right to rant about this film. It showcases what not to do while it had poor Maddie Ziegler go full-retard to play the titular autistic character against her will with Kate Hudson being a willing participant to this piece of shit that got her a Golden Globe nomination. The film itself wouldn’t just get another Golden Globe nomination which only adds to the lack of credibility that award already had. The film would eventually win three Razzies in Worst Actress for Hudson, Worst Supporting Actress to Ziegler, and Worst Director to SIA in the hope that she will never be involved in cinema ever again.

2. Cinderella
There’s nothing inherently wrong about another re-telling of the famed fairy tale or to turn it into a musical. However, Kay Cannon had to play to what people want rather than what people need as the film became more about who is in it rather than the story. The fact that it tries to have these modern ideals where the titular character is running a shop and uses pop songs from other artists just doesn’t make the story work while the casting is also uninspired where Billy Porter’s appearance as the fairy godmother is really more of him representing his brand of stupidity. Yet, the biggest offender is the cameo appearance of James Corden as a mouse. The fact that he promoted the film with a cast by wearing dumb costumes during a traffic jam just exemplify how exposed and how unfunny he is. If I had been in that traffic jam and saw him, I would be in prison for vehicular manslaughter and it would be worth it knowing that I got rid of one unfunny motherfucker.

3. Dear Evan Hansen
An adaptation of the Tony-award winning musical definitely brought out the worst aspects of its intentions to discuss mental illness and social anxiety. Yet, there were those who didn’t the musical was even that good as this film is justified into why it wasn’t any good to begin with. It’s about a kid who writes a letter to himself about his anxieties and feelings where some guy reads it, gets upset, and kills himself. Then he tries to confess to that guy’s parents who mistake him for being his best friend as he tries to win over that guy’s sister whom he has feelings for but eventually gets caught up on all of these lies. It’s a horrible story and this won a bunch of Tonys with a lot of shitty-ass songs. Yet, the worst part is that it had that show’s star in Ben Platt who is nearly 30 as he’s playing a high schooler which makes the whole thing even stupider. It also showcases that Platt’s inclusion in the film is largely due to the fact that his daddy is one of the producers as it just adds more shit as it comes off as creepy and desperate in the hope that Platt never does a film again as he should be performing to small theater bars playing to indifferent drunks.

© thevoid99 2022


Ronyell (a.k.a. Rabbitearsblog) said...

Oh man! I've heard lots of bad things about these movies! Thankfully, I haven't watched any of them.

Check out my Thursday Movie Picks!

Ronyell @ The Surreal Movies and TV Blog

Brittani Burnham said...

I completely forgot Music came out this year until it started ending up on Worst Lists. Thankfully I've skipped all of these as well.

Realweegiemidget Reviews said...

Not heard of anyone these, thanks for bringing them to my attention.

ThePunkTheory said...

Oh boy, I feel like I really dodged a bullet by not watching any of these.

Ruth said...

I have zero desire to see any of this, so thank goodness!! Your hatred for Dear Evan Hansen is quite well known, ahah, and that Cinderella adaptation looks atrocious!! Sorry I can't stand Billy Porter, I happened to catch the NYE Special w/ him hosting, I ended up turning it off.

Birgit said...

I am laughing at your writing...James Gordon is not funny in the slightest plus Kate Hudson is not a big star no matter how much she thinks she is. I am glad to avoid these films. Why must they screw with Cinderella who’s original name was Cinderslut.

thevoid99 said...

@Ronyell-I have seen your picks and I haven't seen any of them yet.

@Brittani-Let's hope for the sake of our physical and mental health that we don't watch any of these.

@realweegimidget Reviews-I hope you avoid these films cause I don't know anyone with a brain that likes any of this shit.

@ThePunkTheory-If it means having to save a life by making people avoid these films. Then I consider it an honor and a privilege.

@Ruth-I don't sound like a homophobe or anything but Billy Porter can go fuck himself. He thinks he's prettier than all of us but honestly, I'd like to crack his fucking skull, wipe my ass with his stupid dress, and send him to a biker bar where real gay men at least try to make each other feel good rather than think they're special.

@Birgit-OK, that Cinderslut comment made me laugh. Kate Hudson is the embodiment of mediocrity and nepotism. Has she ever really been in a good movie that isn't Almost Famous? Why does she keep getting work when her films never do well financially?

Tom said...

I walked out of Dear Evan Hansen; it was so boring, I just couldn't take it.

thevoid99 said...

@Tom-I don't blame you. I'd like to kick the shit out of Evan Platt for being so fucking awful.