Andre the Giant (2018 film)

Directed by Jason Hehir and written by Simon Pummell, Andre the Giant is a documentary film about the legendary pro wrestler who was born with gigantism which would make him a beloved figure in the world of pro wrestling yet would deal with the prejudices of being gigantic. The film follows the man’s life from his early upbringing in France to being one of the most popular pro wrestlers in the world as well as being in movies like The Princess Bride. With interviews from wrestlers Hulk Hogan, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Pat Patterson, and Ric Flair as well as actors Billy Crystal, Robin Wright, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and filmmaker Rob Reiner. The result is a somber yet extravagant film about a man who was indeed larger than life.

Andre Rene Roussimoff was a man from a small French town just 40 miles away from Paris as he unexpectedly was growing very rapidly as a teenager where he would become a professional wrestler around the age of 17. Yet, this gigantic growth which he didn’t know where it was from would make him a major celebrity as well as a mythical figure in the world of professional wrestling. The film follows the man’s life from his beginnings in the small French town of Moliens where he lived with his two brothers who are interviewed in the film along with sister-in-law as they talk about Andre’s life in the small town and the difficulty he had with his growth. Yet, it would contribute to his love of athletics including rugby which would get him the attention of a local wrestling coach who saw what he could do.

Aside from pro wrestling writer Dave Meltzer, historians talk about Andre’s early wrestling career as it showed his athleticism early on but as his gigantism grew. He would become this special attraction upon his arrival in the early 1970s in Montreal where he got the attention of many promoters in North America. He would work in many territories in America as wrestlers such as Hulk Hogan, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Pat Patterson, and Ric Flair along with wrestling announcer “Mean” Gene Okerlund would talk about not just Andre’s work method but also how he would run the locker rooms as he would protect and sell other wrestlers who are good to him but then there’s those he didn’t like such as Big John Studd and “Macho Man” Randy Savage. The latter of which was revealed by Hogan about Savage using baby oil to make himself look good but it pissed Andre off really bad who really slapped the shit out of Savage.

There are also these mythological stories that are told such as the consumption of alcohol that Andre had drank where Flair claimed he saw him drank 106 cans of beer in one night. It adds to the mythology and legend of Andre as another WWE personnel that talks about Andre is referee Tim White who was Andre’s handler for much of his career. There were also discussions of Andre’s life outside the ring where he did struggle with his condition and learned about it much later in his life though he didn’t seek treatment as he felt it would threaten his career. There was also the fact that he had a daughter named Robin Christensen Roussimoff, who is interviewed in the film, as she shows pictures of her time with her father at his farm in Erbelle, North Carolina. The people who lived in Erbelle talked about Andre who felt at home in the town as his times traveling would often make him feel lonely and sensitive where he found a surrogate family in the people who looked after his ranch.

Actors such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, and Billy Crystal talk about their time with him as Schwarzenegger knew him during the 1970s as he was often in awe of him. Elwes, Wright, and Crystal along with filmmaker Rob Reiner talked about working with him on The Princess Bride as they revealed some tidbits about the film as well as the pain that Andre was feeling as it relates to his back. With the help of editor Daniel Goddard, director Jason Hehir wouldn’t just compile the many footage of his matches but also some rare pictures including a few from Elwes and Andre’s daughter Robin as it shows someone who wanted to be like everyone else. WWE chairman Vince McMahon does dwell into Andre’s final years as he admitted that resentment from Andre over having to retire while WWE would continue without him as he felt sad that he is unable to wrestle. It was in early 1993 when Andre returned to France to visit his ailing father and then be at his funeral where he unexpectedly died on January 27, 1993 at the age of 46.

Hehir’s direction would have many of the people interviewed in a straightforward manner with Hogan being the one to talk about Andre’s impact as well as how he had been able to play a major part of the 1980s wrestling boom. The film’s music by Thomas Caffey is terrific for its triumphant score that play into the larger-than-life persona of Andre while music supervisor Rudy Chung helping to bring in an array of music that lives up to who Andre is.

Andre the Giant is a marvelous film from Jason Hehir and HBO Sports. It’s a documentary that wrestling fans will definitely enjoy as they would get a look at one of the sport’s most beloved figures while audiences familiar with the world of popular culture will see a man who was human like everyone but also had a heart that was as big as he was where all he wanted to do was make people smile. In the end, Andre the Giant is a remarkable film from Jason Hehir.

© thevoid99 2018

Maggie (2015 film)

Directed by Henry Hobson and written by John Scott 3, Maggie is the story of a young girl who had been bitten by a zombie as she turns to her father for help who struggles to take care of her just as she is declining. The film is an unusual zombie movie where a man deals with what happened to his daughter as well as struggling to contain her humanity. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Abigail Breslin, and Joely Richardson. Maggie is a chilling yet somber film from Henry Hobson.

Set in a post-apocalyptic zombie epidemic in the American Midwest, the film revolves a man who takes his daughter home after she had been bitten by a zombie as he struggles with her condition and wonder if she could be cured or not. It’s a film that is about the possibility of death coming as well as what a father is dealing with as he wonders if he would lose his daughter. John Scott 3’s screenplay begins with the titular character (Abigail Breslin) talking on her phone though it’s only heard through dialogue as nothing is shown until her father Wade Vogler (Arnold Schwarzenegger) drives through a war-torn city to pick her up as he is forced to face the reality of what might happen to his daughter. Upon returning home where his wife Caroline (Joely Richardson) is getting ready to send their two youngest children Bobby and Molly (Aiden and Carsen Flowers, respectively) to their aunt out of fear that Maggie might harm them.

It adds to the dramatic stake as Caroline is wondering when her stepdaughter will change as she eventually leaves while Wade also realizes what is happening around him as he would encounter two people he knew who have become zombies prompting to take action. Yet, he also copes with the fact they were once people as he has to contend with what will happen to his daughter who is aware of what is happening to her. Even as she tries to maintain some normalcy, she also knows what will happen as she doesn’t want to be quarantined where other zombies that she know would be sent to. Especially as there’s local police who are telling Wade to do something or else they would have to handle it themselves prompting Wade to decide on what he will do for his daughter.

Henry Hobson’s direction is straightforward in terms of the compositions as it doesn’t go for a lot of style by maintaining a sense of restraint in terms of the zombie violence in favor of the dramatic stakes of the film. Shot on location in areas near New Orleans as parts of Kansas and Kansas City, the film does play into something that does feel like a Midwestern film with its fields and farms as some of them are being burned with people no longer part of traditional society. While there are some wide shots, Hobson would emphasize more on medium shots and close-ups for the dramatic elements including a few scenes of suspense such as Wade encountering the two zombies. Still, Hobson just keep things straightforward while maintaining that air of suspense of when Maggie will fully become a zombie as he builds up very slowly and with a restraint. Especially in the third act as Maggie’s condition worsen where she struggles to retain whatever is left of her humanity and Wade doing everything he can as he tries to accept the inevitable. Yet, there are a few moments during the second act between Wade and Maggie as they talk about Maggie’s late mother whom Wade loves as it would be a simple and tender moment that would be key to its climax in what Maggie wants to retain the most. Overall, Hobson crafts a riveting yet touching film about a man dealing with his daughter becoming a zombie.

Cinematographer Lukas Ettlin does excellent work with the film’s cinematography with its emphasis on low-key yet de-saturated colors for much of the film to play into stark weather of the exteriors as well as some scenes set at night. Editor Jane Rizzo does brilliant work with the editing as it is straightforward for much of it with some rhythmic cuts to play into the suspense. Production designer Gabor Norman, with set decorator Ryan Martin Dwyer and art director Frank Zito, does fantastic work with the look of the hospital in the film’s early scenes as well as the home where Wade and his family lived in. Costume designer Claire Breaux does nice work with the costumes as it is mostly casual for what the characters wear.

The special makeup effects work of Bailey Domke, Marcos Gonzales, Elvis Jones, and Matthew O’Toole is amazing for the way the zombies look as well as how Maggie would look through each passing day through its effects. Visual effects supervisor Ed Chapman does terrific work with some of the film’s minimal visual effects as it relate to a fox as well as a few of the flashbacks involving zombies. Sound designer Chris Terhune does superb work with the sound from the way it creates sound effects to what Maggie is hearing in her deteriorating condition to some of the things that are presented naturally on location. The film’s music by David Wingo is wonderful for its low-key score that is mainly driven by piano with some string instruments to play into the film’s somber tone while music supervisor Laura Katz creates a soundtrack that features some contemporary music in the background including a song performed by Oscar Brown Jr.

The casting by Ryan Glorioso is great as it feature some notable small roles from Aiden and Carsen Flowers in their respective roles as Maggie’s half siblings Bobby and Molly, Raeden Greer as a friend of Maggie in Allie, Bryce Romero as another friend of Maggie in Trent who is also infected, Jodie Moore as Dr. Vern Kaplan who examines Maggie, Rachel Whitman Groves as a neighbor of Wade, J.D. Evermore as a cop named Holt who wants to take Maggie to quarantine, and Douglas M. Griffin as Sheriff Ray Pierce who knows Maggie and wants Wade to deal with her. Joely Richardson is excellent as Wade’s wife/Maggie’s stepmother Caroline who is concerned about what is happening to Maggie as she tries not to create any problems knowing there’s tension between the two as she realizes what she has to do when she knows what will happen to Maggie.

Abigail Breslin is incredible as the titular character as this teenage girl who deals with being bitten by a zombie as well as her deteriorating condition as she struggles to retain whatever humanity she has left as well as know what will happen to her. Finally, there’s Arnold Schwarzenegger in a sensational performance as Wade Vogler as Maggie’s father who is forced to deal with what is daughter is becoming as he also carries a sense of loss and need to protect her as it’s this very restrained and world-weary performance from Schwarzenegger who sheds the action badass persona he’s known for to play someone normal without overdoing it.

Maggie is a marvelous film from Henry Hobson that features great performances from Arnold Schwarzenegger and Abigail Breslin. Along with its ensemble cast and unusual take on the zombie sub-genre, it’s a film that does contain some of its trope but is more about a father and daughter relationship in which a man copes with the fact that he might be losing his daughter. In the end, Maggie is a remarkable film from Henry Hobson.

© thevoid99 2017

2015 Blind Spot Series: The Long Goodbye

Based on the novel by Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye is the story of a detective who tries to find the people who are involved in the murder of his best friend in Los Angeles. Directed by Robert Altman and screenplay by Leigh Brackett, the film is an update of Chandler’s novel as it’s set in 1970s Los Angeles where a man trying to do what is right finds himself in a world that is very complicated. Starring Elliott Gould, Sterling Hayden, Nina Van Pallandt, Jim Bouton, and Mark Rydell. The Long Goodbye is an entrancing and gripping film from Robert Altman.

A murder has just happened as a man who is accused of his wife’s death goes to his gumshoe friend for help only to be presumed dead in Mexico starting a gumshoe’s journey to find the truth. It’s a film that doesn’t just subvert the ideas of traditional film noir and suspense films but it is also set into a world where it’s about greed and selfishness that clashes with old school ideals. In the middle of this is the gumshoe Philip Marlowe (Elliott Gould) who is a private detective who learns that his best friend’s wife was murdered as he would also deal with his friend’s eventual suicide in Mexico prompting him to believe that something isn’t right. What would happen is that Marlowe would drive all over Los Angeles to find some truth only to encounter a series of strange characters and things that stray from the norm.

Leigh Brackett’s screenplay definitely strays from a lot of the conventions of film noir as well as doing a complete deconstruction of Chandler’s novel such as setting the story in 1970s Los Angeles as opposed to something like the 1940s. While Brackett retains much of the language that is expected in noir in terms of its stylistic and rhythmic approach to dialogue, it’s in the characterization that is subversive. Notably the character of Marlowe as if he was presented in a traditional noir film. He would be someone that is quite aggressive in his findings or be very smart and cooperative while often having some kind of voiceover narration. What Brackett does is turn that persona upside down by presenting Marlowe as an everyman of sorts as someone who bumbles his way into a situation while being difficult towards the police and be concerned about finding the right kind of food for his cat.

It’s not just Marlowe that strays from the ideals of noir but it’s also in the characters he meet such as the novelist Roger Wade (Sterling Hayden) as he is essentially a washed-up alcoholic with money problems who rambles about his life and is abusive towards his wife Eileen (Nina Van Pallandt). Eileen is another character that doesn’t play to the tradition of noir as she could’ve been a love interest but the script allows her to be so much more as it is clear that she might know what happened but there’s complications. Then there’s mob boss Marty Augustine (Mark Rydell) who is a man that just wants his money as he is quite intimidating but sensible unless he doesn’t get what he wants where he turns out to be very dangerous. It all plays into this world that Marlowe is in as it is one where he is being the cuckold while trying to make sense of things as he just wants to know what really happened to his friend and his friend’s wife.

Robert Altman’s direction is quite stylish in terms of staying true to the elements of film noir but it is infused with an offbeat sensibility that makes it a very unconventional film. Notably as he would present it in a world that is very modern but has this sense of conflict of old-school ideas with a new age of individuals who care more about themselves. While it is shot largely in Los Angeles with a few shots in Mexico, the film does play something that is very modern though much of its tone is a mixture of old school noir with an offbeat sense of humor that is more akin to the world of the 1970s. Notably as there are elements that are very quirky such as the fact that Marlowe is always seen lighting a match to smoke a cigarette or a character playing variations of the title song that appears frequently in the film.

Altman’s usage of medium and wide shots not only help play into the vast look of the locations but also play into a world that is very lively and chaotic as Altman knows where to place his actors into a frame. Notably as he doesn’t use a lot of close-ups while keeping things very natural and on location such as an opening sequence where Marlowe is looking for cat food at a 24-hour supermarket at 3 in the morning. Altman’s approach to capturing some of the chaotic moments that involves multiple characters talking with lots of overlapping dialogue do help play into a world that is confusing but also offbeat. Even as he uses some long takes and tracking shots while knowing when to play the elements of suspense and infuse it with something humorous or something much darker. Overall, Altman creates a very engaging and riveting film about a gumshoe private detective trying to uncover a mystery in Los Angeles.

Cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond does brilliant work with the film‘s cinematography from the usage of available light for some of the nighttime interior scenes along with naturalistic lights for the scenes in the day as Zsigmond‘s photography manages to play something that strays from convention in order to capture a moment in time. Editor Lou Lombardo does amazing work with the editing with its usage of jump-cuts and various rhythmic cuts to play into the suspense as well as the film‘s offbeat humor. Costume designers Kent James and Majorie Wahl do excellent work with the design of the different clothes from the clothes of the men to some of stylish dresses of the women.

The sound work of John Speak and Dick Vorisek is terrific for not just the naturalistic approach to sound but also in the sound editing to capture some of the pieces of music and match it up along with the vast sounds of the party scenes. The film’s music by John Williams is fantastic as it is largely a jazz-based score that only appears in few instances for some of the film’s suspenseful moments while the title song that is written by Williams and Johnny Mercer is played in various styles on location or as part of the score.

The film’s cast is marvelous as it features some notable small appearances from Jack Knight, Pepe Callahan, and Vincent Palmieri as a few of Marty’s hoods, Rodney Moss as supermarket clerk Marlowe meets early in the film and in jail, Jerry Jones and John S. Davies as a couple of LAPD detectives that Marlowe despises, Jo Ann Brody as Marty’s girlfriend, Stephen Coit as the lead detective Farmer, Ken Samson as the Malibu Colony security guard who does great old Hollywood star impressions, David Arkin as young hood named Harry who takes a liking towards Marlowe’s often-topless neighbors, and Arnold Schwarzenegger in one of his early film appearances as a hulking yet silent hood who works for Marty. Henry Gibson is superb as Dr. Verringer as a private hospital doctor who was treating Wade while asking for money. Jim Bounton is excellent as Marlowe’s friend Terry Lennox who asks Marlowe for help as he would later be accused of killing his wife and later be dead prompting Marlowe to find some truth.

Mark Rydell is fantastic as Marty Augustine as this crime boss who just wants what is owed to him as he’s a character that has something that is quite calm but is also very dangerous in one notable moment that is scary. Nina Van Pallandt is amazing as Eileen Wade as Roger’s wife who has been trying to deal with his debt as well as helping Marlowe with the case as she knows a lot more than she seems. Sterling Hayden is brilliant as Roger Wade as a washed-up and troubled novelist who is dealing with money troubles as he deals with the ways of the world while concealing knowledge about the night Terry’s wife was killed. Finally, there’s Elliott Gould in a phenomenal performance as Philip Marlowe as this gumshoe private detective that deals with a case that becomes complicated throughout the course of his journey as Gould brings a humility and wit to his performance that strays from all of the ideas of what is expected in a film noir protagonist.

The Long Goodbye is a magnificent film from Robert Altman. Featuring an incredible performance from Elliott Gould along with a strong supporting cast, enchanting music, and Vilmos Zsigmond’s beautiful photography. The film isn’t just a fascinating take on the world of film noir but it’s also one of Robert Altman’s finest films in terms of taking a genre and put a different spin on it. In the end, The Long Goodbye is an outstanding film from Robert Altman.

Robert Altman Films: (The Delinquents) - (The James Dean Story) - Countdown (1968 film) - (That Cold Day in the Park) - M.A.S.H. - Brewster McCloud - McCabe & Mrs. Miller - (Images) - Thieves Like Us - California Split - Nashville - Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull’s History Lesson - 3 Women - (A Wedding) - (Quintet) - (A Perfect Couple (HealtH) - Popeye - (Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean) - (Streamers) - (Secret Honor) - (O.C. and Stiggs) - Fool for Love - (Beyond Therapy) - (Aria-Les Boreades) - (Tanner ‘88) - (Vincent & Theo) - The Player - Short Cuts - Pret-a-Porter - (Kansas City) - (The Gingerbread Man) - Cookie's Fortune - Dr. T and the Women - Gosford Park - The Company - (Tanner on Tanner) - A Prairie Home Companion

© thevoid99 2015

Commando (1985 film)

Directed by Mark L. Lester and screenplay by Steven E. de Souza from a story by de Souza, Joseph Loeb III, and Matthew Weisman, Commando is the story of a former Delta Force commando who is forced by a South American dictator to kill a leader or else the commando’s daughter is killed forcing the man to take action. The film is a simple story that revolves around a commando who is being pushed into doing something he doesn’t want to do while knowing that his daughter’s life is on the line. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Vernon Wells, James Olson, David Patrick Kelly, Alyssa Milano, Bill Duke, and Dan Hedaya. Commando is an ass-kicking and exciting film from Mark L. Lester.

When a man is being forced to kill a political leader by a dictator in the hopes that he can save his daughter’s life knowing that she’ll still be killed if he does the deed. It’s a dichotomy that is uneasy but if that commando is John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger), then that dictator is going to need a lot of body bags. It’s a film that manages to be very simple in its premise where this former commando is dealing with old foes who definitely have a grudge towards him all because Matrix is a man that stands for what is right as the only thing he has in the world is his daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano). Knowing that Jenny is likely to be killed, Matrix uses his skills as a commando to do whatever it takes to save her with the help of a flight attendant named Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong) who understands the severity of the situation. It’s a film that manages to do so much with a simple story while the script itself does have some funny one-liners and puns that Matrix says like “I eat Green Berets for breakfast”.

Mark L. Lester’s direction is quite simple though it starts off in a very dark way when some individuals are being killed as it is a total contrast to the peace and tranquility that Matrix is having with his daughter. Yet, the film would take a dark turn once Matrix is in danger as Lester’s usage of close-ups and medium shots come into play. Much of the film is shot in California where it would be set in different places in South America as it maintains something that feels like it’s set in another world. Especially in the film’s climax where Matrix arrives at the home of the dictator Arius (Dan Hedaya) where it becomes one of the film’s most violent moments. Some of which is very ridiculous but Lester knows it’s ridiculous which makes it so fun to watch. Especially in the way Matrix kills soldiers as if he is this one-man army as Lester adds a lot of humor to some of the violence no matter how gruesome it is. Overall, Lester creates an exhilarating and explosive film about a commando trying to save his daughter from the bad guys.

Cinematographer Matthew F. Leonetti does excellent work with the cinematography from some of the daytime lighting schemes in the Californian mountains to the usage of lights for the interior/exterior scenes at night. Editors Glenn Farr, Mark Goldblatt, and John F. Link do amazing work with the editing from the opening credits montage to the stylistic cuts in the film‘s action sequences including its bloody climax. Production designer John Vallone and set decorator Robert Gould does nice work with the film‘s set design from the home of Arius to the cabin home that Matrix lived in at the Californian mountains. Sound mixer Donald F. Johnson does terrific work with the sound to capture the intensity of the fights and the gunplay that occurs. The film’s music by James Horner is wonderful for its mixture of brooding electronics with calypso percussions and orchestral flourishes to play into the air of suspense and action.

The casting by Jackie Burch is amazing as it features notable small roles from Bill Paxton as naval interceptor, Bill Duke as a former Green Beret that works for Arius in Cooke, David Patrick Kelly as an associate in Arius in Sully, and James Olson as Matrix’ former superior General Kirby who would inform Matrix about some mysterious occurrences involving Arius. Alyssa Milano is wonderful as Matrix’s daughter Jenny as this young girl dealing with being kidnapped as she manages to talk some shit towards Arius. Vernon Wells is excellent as Arius’ henchman Bennett who was an old ally of Matrix who despises him as he wants Matrix dead.

Dan Hedaya is fantastic as Arius as this dictator who has a grudge towards Matrix for usurping him as he wants him to kill the man who had replaced him in his old country as a form of torture. Rae Dawn Chong is superb as Cindy as this flight attendant who joins the ride by accident as she helps Matrix do what is right while being funny and be crafty with a bazooka. Finally, there’s Arnold Schwarzenegger in a phenomenal performance as John Matrix as a former commando that is being pushed to the breaking point about what he’s asked to do only to refuse in an attempt to save his daughter. It’s a performance that has Schwarzenegger be a total badass as well as saying some funny puns and one-liners as it’s one of Schwarzenegger’s quintessential performances.

Commando is a remarkable film from Mark L. Lester that features an incredible performance from Arnold Schwarzenegger. It’s a film that isn’t just an entertaining action movie but one that does what it needed to be and more while not being afraid in making itself look ridiculous which adds to the film’s unique approach to humor. While Commando is a spectacular film from Mark L. Lester, there is a lesson to all of this. It’s one thing to kidnap a young girl and be forced to carry out an assassination. If that girl happens to Alyssa Milano and her father is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Then Jabroni, you’re about to be fucked.

© thevoid99 2015

The 10 Essential Performances of Arnold Schwarzenegger

If there’s one name that is synonymous with the term “bad-ass”, Arnold Schwarzenegger definitely fit’s the bill. In his hey-day in the 1980s and the 1990s, there was no one who was as big and as tough as Arnold. Just as he is set to return to the big screen for the 2010 sequel to The Expendables that would include a huge crop of action movie stars like Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Jet Li, and Dolph Lundgren. Having his name with these men just adds to the idea of what action film fans want in a movie. Yet, there’s more to Arnold than just an action guy as he’s also someone who can also do comedy and is a better actor than some people give him credit for. Here are the 10 Essential Performances of Arnold Schwarzenegger:

1. The Terminator/Terminator 2: Judgment Day-The Terminator-The Terminator

They wanted O.J. Simpson for the role originally but if it had happen. Arnold wouldn’t be the superstar that the whole world knows him and love. While Arnold doesn’t have a lot of lines in the first film, it is still a very engaging performance that is chilling to watch. How he says those words… “I’ll be back”. Come on, how can anyone think that isn’t cool. He may be the bad guy in the first film but it’s still a cool-ass bad guy. Arnold would top that with a more well-rounded performance in the 2nd film where he faces off a new Terminator to save someone where there’s a bit more of the same but also a sense of humor and sensitivity that is unexpected in the way he interacts with John Connor. Arnold’s performance in the third film isn’t anything memorable though at least it’s tolerable in comparison to the awful CGI-face cameo of his in that other film that came out recently.

2. Twins-Julius Benedict

While guys love to see Arnold kicking ass and pumping iron but Arnold also has something that women can enjoy in the way he can be sensitive and funny. While Arnold gets to do both in this film, he manages to make it more of being the straight man of sorts to Danny Devito while also finding ways to keep people laughing. Particularly in the scenes with Devito where Devito’s Vincent character teaches Julius how to dance or the scene where Julius drives a car sideways. Credit should go to Ivan Reitman for finding ways to make Arnold more accessible as this is definitely a great start to an amazing collaboration with the two.

3. Total Recall-Douglas Quaid

This is definitely a film where Arnold gets to be the badass but also has him taking the chance to show some range as a man who realizes that he is a cuckold for something bigger. It’s truly one of the great sci-fi action films of its time as it begs the question into why there’s a need to do a remake of this when it’s already a film people still watch. Largely because Arnold was able to make Douglas Quaid into a character that audiences care about as he’s being duped only to realize what he must do to realize who he really is. It’s also a performance that allows Arnold to take hits and actually be human despite his size.

4. True Lies-Harry Trasker

Arnold’s third collaboration with James Cameron following the two Terminator films is an indication that the Schwarzenegger-Cameron collaboration is one of the best actor-director collaborations in cinema. Largely because Cameron knows how to work with Arnold in not just being a bad ass but also a guy who can show humility, be sensitive, and be the guy to root for. It also has Arnold taking some risks in some amazing action scenes that requires lots of stunts such as the scene on the Florida bridges where Arnold has to save Jamie Lee Curtis. It’s really the last great thing Arnold has done as there hasn’t been anyone who can understand Arnold’s talents as an actor better than James Cameron.

5. Kindergarten Cop-John Kimble

I still wish the Criterion Collection would decide to release this even though it was just an April Fool’s joke. Yet, the cover they decided to create and the numerous special features just made me wish it was true. After all, this is definitely the best collaboration Arnold did with Ivan Reitman because it balances not just Arnold’s ability to be the bad ass but also the comedy and romantic side. The best scenes in the film has Arnold’s John Kimble character interact with the kids such as his monologue about what he’s going to do where he just commands every word he says as if he means business. The stuff where he’s teaching them is really inspiring including the scene where he’s reading a story to them. The pecs and the poetry indeed. Come on Criterion! Release this and think of all the money you’ll make!

6. Commando-John Matrix

Commando is definitely an idea of what an action film should be as Arnold definitely plays John Matrix. He’s a guy that can kick some ass, do what it takes to fight off anything and anyone who gets in his way. It should be also added that the Matrix character is a guy to root for since all he wants to do is get his daughter back from a dictator and a former Special Forces captain. While it’s a film that has Arnold also showing a bit of a funny side, he maintains the sense of a man just hell-bent on getting his daughter back as there’s a great complexity he brings to a character that is well-defined in his motivations.

7. Last Action Hero-Jack Slater

Though it was considered one of the great box office disappointments of the early 1990s despite all the hype it had. It’s a film that has managed to find its audience in the years since as it’s one of the more underrated films that Arnold has been in. Largely because he’s playing off all of the action heroes he had done before with an offbeat sense of humor while it also has Arnold playing a version of himself where he seems to enjoy playing the idiot. Yet, the Jack Slater character is one that is interesting because it has Arnold taking a piss at the action hero but also become aware of his flaws as a character and such.

8. Predator-Major Alan “Dutch” Schaffer

Easily one of the essential films of the action genre, it has Arnold playing with an ensemble cast where Arnold may be the lead but he is willing to share the screen. As the commander of a task force to uncover a mysterious alien lurking in the jungle, it’s up to Dutch to lead a team where they’re facing an unknown creature as the stakes for survival forces Dutch to do whatever he can to protect whatever he has left including an unarmed woman. There’s a lot of moments where Arnold shows his range as an actor by finding ways to figure out how to face off this mysterious creature where Arnold gets his moment in the climatic face-off.

9. Conan the Barbarian-Conan

The film that made Arnold the star that everyone knows and love. Who else could play this character? While it’s a role where Arnold was still trying to find his way as an actor, it’s a performance that is truly unforgettable where he has this larger-than-life presence that makes him tailor-made for the role. While Arnold’s performance is limited due to the lack of dialogue he gets, he makes up for it with the way he allows his character to be this cunning warrior that is seeking vengeance. The shot of him wielding his sword on a beach against a blue sky is truly one of the most iconic images of 80s action films.

10. The Running Man-Ben Richards

His performance as Ben Richards in The Running Man is really one of his most underrated films. Not only is it because he’s playing a character that is on the run and has to play a treacherous game. Not only does Arnold get a chance to be the badass and kill a few bad guys along the way including the primary antagonist played by the late Richard Dawson. Arnold also gets the chance to display some hilarious one-liners that just adds a charisma that only he can bring.

Honorable Mentions:

Arnold Schwarzenegger has been in a lot of films dating back to the early 70s though it’s obvious that his reign from the early 80s to the mid-1990s is pretty much incomparable to today’s film stars. For anyone that loves Arnold, there’s movies that they’ll mention that should get a mention. Whether it’s films like Red Heat and Raw Deal show he can play a cop that is intimidating but also trying to be good. There’s something about those performances where Arnold adds extra power to these roles as he can rise above something that could be shoddy material. Another action film that features Schwarzenegger at his best is Eraser where although it’s not a great movie but certainly enjoyable as Arnold does a role that’s typical of him but manages to make it memorable enough.

It’s obvious that Schwarzenegger is an actor with limited range sometimes that can work is the project and material is right. One film that certainly divides fans is his third and final collaboration with Ivan Reitman in Junior. OK, it’s a comedy where Arnold is a doctor who does an experiment where he gets himself pregnant. Yet, it’s a role where Arnold somehow makes the character so enjoyable and so real where he’s not afraid to be sensitive and funny where at times, it’s over the top when he plays a woman in disguise. Yet, the guy should get some credit for actually trying to create a performance that is endearing as it’s one that should be seen again to see if there’s more to Schwarzenegger than playing the badass role.

Lesser films like Conan the Destroyer and Red Sonja do have their fans as they’re decent action films where Schwarzenegger doesn’t get much to do. Still, a lesser actor in the roles that Arnold is playing wouldn’t work as Arnold manages to create performances that are memorable. One film that is kind of mixed bag to watch though it does feature an enjoyable performance from Schwarzenegger is Jingle All the Way where it does have this great climatic scene where Schwarzenegger’s character gets to play the hero his son wants. There’s a glee to the way he expresses the role of playing a hero for his son.

The Worst

With the exception of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines which is a decent film, Schwarzenegger’s film work from 1997 to 2004 isn’t really good. OK, there’s probably been some performances Schwarzenegger hasn’t been proud of that he did in the early 70s though he was just starting out and trying to find his footing. It’s just that films he’s been in from 1997 to 2004, with the exception of Terminator 3, are just terrible.

Batman & Robin-Mr. Freeze

The blame really should go to both director Joel Schumacher and screenwriter Akiva Goldsman for making Batman & Robin as one of the worst films ever made. Schumacher and Goldsman should also take blame for making Schwarzenegger’s performance as Mr. Freeze into a complete caricature rather than a memorable villain. Saddled with awful one-liners, a mawkish storyline about his motivations, and moments where Arnold seems to be talking as if he has a lisp. Truly a horrific performance.

Collateral Damage-Gordy Brewer

Another terrible film that Schwarzenegger is in that has him pretty much not doing anything new. It’s a performance that is pretty uninspiring while the film itself is practically unmemorable as a whole except for a twist near the end that makes it more ridiculous. While the role is simply having Arnold play a fireman that is seeking revenge, the idea of him as a fireman makes more unbelievable than it actually is. Even as his journey into Columbia and back to the U.S. just doesn’t really give Arnold anything that is up to par with everything he’s done before.

The 6th Day-Adam Gibson

A film that has Arnold in another sci-fi premise where he also has a clone but it’s definitely a film that is very mediocre. While he gets to work with the likes of Robert Duvall and Tony Goldwyn, it’s a film that tries too hard to be compelling and suspenseful while the small bits of humor is forced. Arnold’s performance doesn’t really have him do anything new as if he’s in Total Recall but with a bad script.

Around the World in 80 Days-Prince Hapi

Though it’s really an extended cameo among a sea of actors who make cameos for this 2004 remake. It’s a performance where Arnold just ends up looking very ridiculous with bad hair and wearing some kind of mini-skirt. It’s a performance that is just atrocious to watch where Arnold tries to be funny but nothing is working and the last moment of the film is hearing his voice crying over his destroyed statue. There’s a lot of things people would see from Arnold but a crybaby Arnold is not one of them.

Well, that is it. While there’s a slate of new films coming from Arnold Schwarzenegger, it’s uncertain whether or not they can live up to the hey-day that he had in the 1980s and 1990s. Still, he is someone that can get someone to see a film expecting him to take names and kick ass. So in order to close this piece on Mr. Schwarzenegger. Let’s have the man have his say through his memorable moments.

© thevoid99 2012

Batman & Robin

Originally Written and Posted at Epinions.com on 9/15/05 w/ Additional Edits.

When Tim Burton was selected to do a big-screen version of the Caped Crusader Batman back in 1989, he did his job in creating two successful features with the first one with Jack Nicholson and Michael Keaton as Batman. 1992's Batman Returns with Michelle Pfeiffer, Danny DeVito and Christopher Walken was also successful. When Burton chose to drop out to do more personal projects, he remained an executive producer for the third Batman film entitled Batman Forever with Val Kilmer in the role. Chosen to direct the project was Joel Schumacher who had success with such films as St. Elmo's Fire and The Lost Boys. Also starring Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, and Chris O'Donnell as Robin, Batman Forever was successful though fans of the comic book hated Schumacher's take on the Caped Crusader. Schumacher was selected again to do a fourth one which to this day, is considered to be the worst of the franchise entitled Batman & Robin.

With a screenplay by Akiva Goldsman, Batman & Robin focuses on the duo's battle with a couple of new villains, Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy while the duo gets help from Batgirl. With Burton no longer involved, whatever was left of the fear presence Batman has was gone. Instead, it's all about the campy style of 1960s Batman with 1990s blockbuster extravagance as George Clooney takes on the role of Batman and Bruce Wayne. With O'Donnell returning as Robin/Dick Grayson along with two of the franchises' mainstay in Michael Gough as Alfred and Pat Hingle as Commissioner Gordon. The casting would only get worse with Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze, Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy/Pamela Isley, and then-"It" girl Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl. In the end, Batman & Robin provides everything that is needed for spewing commentary when fans watch it as if they're in another episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Mr. Freeze is robbing a museum at Gotham with his gang of hooligans on ice as it's up to Batman and Robin to save the day. Freeze's attempt to steal a diamond nearly goes smoothly as Batman and Robin try to stop him, and a rocket though Robin gets frozen as Freeze succeeds in his mission. Batman learns that Freeze's diamond thefts are for a research to cure a rare disease called McGregor's Syndrome that took his wife Nora Fries (Vendela) away. Freeze has frozen her to work on curing the disease in its stages as he needed more diamonds to steal so he can fund his research.

Meanwhile in a lab, a mad doctor Jason Woods (John Glover) has created an experiment to create a super-soldier named Bane (Jeep Swenson) as a scientist named Pamela Isley sees what Woods does as he attacks her, thinking that she is dead only to be revived as a sexpot with poisonous lips as she takes Bane with her. With Alfred starting to ail, Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson receives a surprise visit from Alfred's niece Barbara (Alicia Silverstone) who has just left school. While Barbara on the surface might seem like a nice girl, she has a knack for trouble and motorcycle racing which Dick begins to suspect. Bruce unveils a brand new telescope to research space as he is confronted by Isley and during a charity auction, Batman and Robin are introduced to Poison Ivy. That same night, Freeze succeeds in stealing another diamond until being stopped by Batman though Robin's frustration in a lack of equal partnership takes its toll.

Freeze is imprisoned in Arkham Asylum as Ivy and Bane breaks him out to retrieve his diamonds and wife as Batman and Robin learn that he's broken out. Their attempt to capture him fails as they're being seduced by Poison Ivy with Batman realizing her powers. Things at home get worse as Alfred is dying with McGregor's Syndrome as Barbara wants to know a secret that Alfred is keeping. When Ivy tells Freeze that his wife has died from Batman's hands, Freeze decides to take vengeance into freezing Gotham for good. With Ivy disguised as Isley approaches at an opening for the telescope, Bruce learns who she really is as he tries to stop Robin from coming to her. Barbara learns the secret as she becomes Batgirl where she helps Robin and Batman stop Freeze and Poison Ivy. Do they succeed? Will Robin score with Poison Ivy? Will Mr. Freeze find a cure for the rare disease? Do.... we even care at this point?

For many purists and fans of Batman, they know Batman as simply as one thing. A superhero who brings fear to his enemies. This Batman however, doesn't scare you. He doesn't even do anything but make a fool of himself and say the most inane things while carrying a credit card. That is not Batman! Batman doesn't go out, stop for Big Macs, hitting on women, fighting criminals with lame gadgets, and having to breast-feed Robin. NO!!!! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, HELL TO THE NO!!!!!!

The fault shouldn't just totally be on just Joel Schumacher but also screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, the guy who wrote A Beautiful Mind and Cinderella Man. He also wrote such crap-fest as Deep Blue Sea and Lost in Space. Obviously, this guy has not read a single Batman comic book and really doesn't understand the mystique and dark humor that the Caped Crusader has. There's no depth into what Batman does or says, not even Bruce Wayne does anything except go to parties with his girlfriend, mope on Alfred, and be an overbearing dad to Robin. The dramatics of the script feels contrived and uninspiring as it gets overshadowed by bad puns, one-liners, and worst of all, the lines that the audience will know is coming. This is by far one of the worst screenplays ever conceived.

If the script was bad enough, nothing could get any worse in the film's meandering, bloated direction from Joel Schumacher. Not only does he miscalculate in what the audience wants, he presents things and ideas that shouldn't be on a franchise film like Batman. There's fireworks explosions and slow camera action in every action scene and there's a feeling on what is expected. There's nothing going on in the film and the fighting is just.... yawn. Ok, the campy style of the 1960s TV show was entertaining and all but in this film, it just goes way too far. Do we really need batskates, surfboarding, motorcycles, car chases, and all of this into one film where nothing really happens?

It gets worse as when Schumacher tries to take a break from the action, he aims for drama and comedy where it feels flat. The comedy aspect of the film is just silly and only funny in a very bad way. The drama with the subplot of Alfred dying doesn't give much to the story and we know he's going to live. We just don't care. The childhood image flashbacks that Bruce has is supposed to be sentimental but comes out in a very contrived, cheesy way. Nothing in the story works or directing works. The subplots of Barbara doing her thing, Ivy's attempt to destroy the world for her plants, and Freeze wanting to save his wife is really a distraction. The main story is supposed to be about Batman and Robin trying to find equal footing but there's not much going on. Robin gets all bitchy, Batman gets all possessive, they fight over Ivy, and in the end, decide to become partners. Wow...

When the third act arrives and there's a chance to save the world, whatever intelligence is left in the film has vanished into a contrive moment where Batman tries to get Mr. Freeze to be good. It's pathetic. Schumacher should've been shot after making this film and there's never a moment where the film works in any way, even in the technical area. The production of the film feels like it's shot in a studio where it just feels lifeless. The whole area in the exteriors feels like a cartoon where even in the car chase scenes, it's like watching toy cars chasing each other. The interiors don't work either since it comes off in a bloated way. The film's production design by Barbara Ling is just awful in what Schumacher wanted in got while Stephen Goldblatt's cinematography is just off-the-wall with excessive color lighting that is unnecessary. And the costumes by Ingrid Ferrin and Robert Turturice that features nipples on the Batsuits where Schumacher has an excuse to have butt shots and nipple shots in the suits. Ugh!!!!!!!! Oh, Batman has a new Batmobile, it was like the last one. Lame.

Anyone who watches the film closely will definitely see errors and there's many of them. The sound dubbing is awful on a few parts where throughout the entire film, it's mixed way too loud, even if you turn your TV down. The editing by Dennis Virkler doesn't do anything to the film in its overlong running time of 130-minutes plus a scene that is badly edited where Robin is in a pool and suddenly, the film rewinds as he is stuck in the pool. That is some very bad editing. The film score Eliot Goldenthal really does nothing to the film only to know what's coming along with its lame theme. Then, we have the film's awful soundtrack featuring one of the Smashing Pumpkins' worst songs ever and an awful ballad from R. Kelly for Gotham City. (in singing voice) Oh, I love Gotham City, My body's calling!!!! Please buy my new album!!!!! I need to beat my case!!!

Tracks from R.E.M., the Goo Goo Dolls, Jewel, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Moloko, Soul Coughing, Underworld, Eric Benet, and Me'Shell Ndegeocello add nothing to the film at all since it's all merely used for commercial reasons.

Then there's your cast and ok... what else is there to say? They all sucked!!!!! They all should've gotten a Razzie Award for worst ensemble cast. Ok, we have supermodel Vendela being stuck in a tank and Vivica A. Fox as a wannabe squeeze for Mr. Freeze. Next. Oh, we have former pro wrestler turned former Governor of Minnesota, Jesse Ventura in a cameo. There's also Coolio and Nicky Katt in the bike racing scenes. Ok... The worst character to come from this and the previous film Batman Forever was a character named Gossip Gerty played by Elizabeth Sanders who just does nothing but blabs and blabs. Ugh... Bane is just a terrible character who just acts like King Kong without the brains and breaks things. This was Jeep Swenson's last role and months later, he died which is sad but this is what he'll be remembered for? For shame. Elle MacPherson plays Bruce Wayne's new girlfriend and does nothing but look pretty. Ok. John Glover goes overboard as a mad scientist, he's not funny, he's not scary. He's just stupid.

Pat Hingle does nothing but be idiotic as Commissioner Gordon, where's Gary Oldman when you need him? Michael Gough does nothing but acts like he's in constipation throughout the film as he gives a very uninspiring performance. Michael Caine was better as Alfred since he actually makes Alfred not only cool but is the moral guide for Batman and actually gets to kick some ass Just get the kid who played the young Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins in this movie and he'll just out act everyone.

Now we go to the main cast. Ok, Uma Thurman is a great actress but what was she thinking when she did this and The Avengers? Oh, $$$$$. Thankfully, she would redeem herself with Kill Bill but imagine if the Bride was in Batman & Robin and was going up against Poison Ivy and Batgirl. Hell, let's add Halle Berry's Catwoman into the mix. It would be done in five seconds as the Bride wins victorious with her Hanzo sword. Thurman is a walking joke throughout the film with her awful, big red hair, overly-done costumes, and does nothing but say awful one-liners in a bad noir-like female voice. Then in her fight scene with Batgirl, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad!!!!!! Ok, everyone has been found guilty and is forced to live in fear of the new Batman. Uma, since you've done Kill Bill, you're free to go but remind yourself to not do things like this again.

Alicia Silverstone is just awful as Batgirl/Barbara Wilson. She not only gives out bad one-liners but also some horrific acting. I had a crush on her during the Aerosmith video days but when I saw this film on TV, it was over. She does nothing to the film but attract young horny boys but they would be totally disgruntled in the end. After the wonderful Clueless, she was definitely poised to be a star but what has she done since that was relevant? She's done nothing and just became another "It" girl who fell and fast too. Sorry, she is guilty and she should be punished. Chris O'Donnell is annoying as Robin and does nothing but pout and whine and give out some awful one liners including the first line of the film, &#147I want the car, chicks dig the car". Shut up!!!! He went on to do a small part in Kinsey while has done some good early work and stayed out the spotlight. He can go with a bit of dignity but he's going to have to wear the Batman/Robin symbol to remind himself of his sins.

George Clooney may have the chin to be Batman and he's a great actor but he is probably the last guy you would expect to play Batman/Bruce Wayne. He's not bad but the lines he's been given and the way his character is written forced Clooney to pretty much, sleepwalk throughout the entire film. You can tell that he isn't into it and even in some dramatic moments, he comes off in a very lazy way. He does what he can do but he probably doesn't think he was right for the role at all. He at least can walk away with dignity for the fact that he knew that he sucked as the Caped Crusader. The film's worst performance is really no-contest and that honor goes to the current Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold just basically brings out some of the worst one-liners and puns that is ever said in any film and when he actually, really tries to act. It's just hilarious because it's so bad. He's not even funny when he tries to be or even when he's trying to be intimidating, he's not scary. He's just a stupid big man wearing a stupid big costume. Sorry but it's time to vote this Governor out!!!!!!

When Batman & Robin was released in the summer of 1997, it was expected to be this massive blockbuster hit but poor reviews and mediocre box office numbers helped sunk the entire franchise. Making things worse just as the film was ready for release, plans for another Batman film was in the works. During an appearance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Adam West who played the TV Batman said that he was up for the fifth to play Uncle Batman. Whether it was a joke or not, fans of the Caped Crusader had enough. Warner Brothers in the end decided to give the franchise a break as fans were ready to kill.

To this day, Batman & Robin isn't just regarded as the worst film of the Batman series but a reminder of how idiotic Hollywood can be into handling a franchise. What made things worse when the film came out was the commercialization of it where McDonalds was promoting the film and it really got to the point that Batman had become a joke. If the Batman of now would appear in Batman & Robin, that entire cast would be scared to death while Alfred would die a more horrible death by Michael Caine's Alfred while Gary Oldman's Gordon would beat the living crap out of Hingle's Gordon. Kids shouldn't watch this film because it insults their intelligence. No one should see this film except for camp value. Nothing in this movie works and people will probably say, it's only a movie. No it's not, it's a clip of everything that is wrong with Hollywood films that are still being continued. It doesn't even deserve to be called a film or a movie, it doesn't even go as far as being called a snuff film. It's just an exercise in pure garbage.

Joel Schumacher Films: (The Incredible Shrinking Woman) - (D.C. Cab) - (St. Elmo's Fire) - (The Lost Boys) - (Cousins) - (Flatliners) - (The Client) - Batman Forever - (A Time to Kill) - (8MM) - (Flawless) - (Tigerland) - (Bad Company (2002 film)) - (Phone Booth) - (Veronica Guerin) - (The Phantom of the Opera (2004 film)) - (The Number 23) - (Blood Creek) - (Twelve) - (Trespass)

Batman Films: (Batman (1966 film)) - Batman (1989 film) - Batman Returns - Batman Begins - The Dark Knight - The Dark Knight Rises - (Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) - The Lego Batman Movie - The Batman (2022 film)

© thevoid99 2012